In local news; DOGLOGIC

[cryptolect]

Big Dog: *stamps his feet*
Me: Want your ears scratched?
BD: nope
Me: Want to play ball?
BD: nope
Me; Need to go out?
BD: nope
Me: Well sort yourself out then, I'm reading.
BD: *stamps his feet for TWENTY MINUTES*
Me: What in the everloving mike do you want?!
BD: it's bed time
Me: It's ten to nine.
BD: yes, that's my bed time.  i've decided
Me: Well put yourself to bed then.
BD: no, i need you to come too or it's not the same
Me: You will be insensible within seconds of hitting the rack.  You don't need me.
BD: i can't completely ignore you if you're NOT IN THE ROOM
Me: Yes, your logic there, it is impeccable.  *headdesk*